You oughta know

Lady Catherine is a complete stitch. She fancies herself to be all that, when in fact she is not much at all. Talk about a lack of self-awareness!

Who else could say that few others in England enjoy music more than she, and yet doesn’t play an instrument? Who else could reprimand Lizzy for not practicing enough, when she herself doesn’t even play? (Although she would have been a great proficient!) Who else would deem Darcy to be excessively attached to Rosings, and on the brink of proposing to Miss de Bourgh? Only Lady Catherine is delusional enough to believe these things.

Besides her misguided delusions, Lady Catherine is a nosy busy-body whose inquiries know no bounds. She is overly attentive to everyone else’s business — from shelves in the closet, to the size of meat joints in relation to family size, to the best place to change horses. Of all things she is excessively attentive.

And yet, I don’t think she really cares about the well-being of those around her. Her concerns are solely around herself, and her ability to influence, manage and coerce the people around her. People of good character concern themselves with helping others rather than themselves. People of vanity, in contrast, are occupied with elevating themselves in comparison to others.

 

Kissin’ (up) cousins

I think of Mr. Collins as a puffed up peacock– with bright and showy plumes and a small brain in his little head. His style is studied and forced; he parades and fawns and uses excessive manners to compensate for his weak mind and boring nature.

Almost despite himself, Mr. Collins is quite successful. He goes to university and, despite his lack of connections and network, somehow lands a plum assignment right out of school. He behaves like a fool in Hertfordshire and still completes his lone mission of finding a wife. (It certainly doesn’t matter to him that they have no real regard or affection for one another.) And, due to a random entail, he will become a landowner and a gentleman. Not to shabby for the son of an illiterate and miserly man.

But Mr. Collins’ manners miss the mark, in that they do not extend courtesy. In spite of his studied manners, he still comes off as a pompous buffoon because he cannot recognize nor does he care about the feelings of others.

Like Mr. Darcy, Mr. Collins is constantly giving offense. But they do so in very different ways. Mr. Darcy is haughty, proud and silent. Mr. Collins is never silent, and his constant prancing and puffing up usually slights those around him. On the first day of his visit to Longbourn, he reads to the Bennet’s from Fordyce’s Sermons, insinuating they are in need or moral guidance. He tells Mrs. Philips that her room resembles a small summer parlour at Rosings. He introduces himself to Mr. Darcy.

In Mr. Collins, Jane Austen demonstrates how self-importance and vanity severely diminish ones manners and character.

 

Mind your manners

I’m a big fan of manners. Please. Thank you. You’re welcome. How do you do? Sir. Ma’am. Manners tell a person that you think they are important and worthy of your respect.

Of course, Jane Austen lived in an era and culture rife with manners. She uses manners to tell us about a person’s character. Darcy has very formal manners. He is one of the few characters that bows frequently. But his manners are also haughty and aloof, telling that his character is reserved and communicating his elevated status and stature.

He assesses the manners of the person with whom he is speaking, and uses them as a guide to make his judgements. For example, he tells Lizzy that he was correct in disdaining her family, for their ”total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself [Mrs. Bennet], by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father.” Here, he uses their lack of manners to affirm their lower status and lesser connections.

Darcy also uses manners to keep people at a distance. He uses manners as an excuse to not move out of his comfort zone. He doesn’t easily meet people and thinks most people are beneath him. (Of course, most people are indeed beneath him!)

I think manners are good, as long as they convey respect (rather than disdain) and strengthen relationships (rather than creating distance). And I think that Darcy’s journey in Pride and Prejudice conveys Jane Austen’s similar sentiments.

[Next we will look at Mr. Collins' manners]

 

Psycho Killer – Qu’est-ce que c’est?

We don’t know Mr. Wickham to be a killer, but he certainly seems to be, in 21st century terms, a little psycho. Some of interpersonal and behavioral characteristics he has are:

 

• Unconcern for the feelings of others/Lack of empathy
• Disregard for social rules, regulations and norms
• Incapacity to maintain long-term relationships
• Incapacity to suffer from guilt
• Prone to blaming others/Offer rationalizations for behaviors

I love his initial conversation with Elizabeth (Volume I, Chapter 16), simply for all the falsehoods he strings together. Here are some great tidbits:

• “Oh! no — it is not for me to be driven away by Mr. Darcy. If he wishes to avoid seeing me, he must go. ” [and he later leaves for London to avoid the Netherfield Ball]
• “His behaviour to myself has been scandalous; but I verily believe I could forgive him anything and everything…” [Darcy has not been the least bit scandalous to Wickham; rather, the other way round!]
•  ”But I verily believe I could forgive him [Darcy] anything and everything…” [a.) Wickham has nothing to forgive Darcy of and, b.) Wickham has not done any forgiving]
• “The church ought to have been my profession — I was brought up for the church…” [I wonder if he was worried about his church profession when he took Darcy's money!?]
• “A man of honour could not have doubted the intention [to give Wickham a living in the church], but Mr. Darcy chose to doubt it.” [Darcy only doubted it when Wickham told him he had not intention for a life in the church.]
• “Till I can forget his father, I can never defy or expose him [Darcy].” [Excuse me? All he has done in Hertfordshire is defy and expose Darcy!]

 

Bad reputation

You know, I think that Mrs. Bennet gets a bad rap. OK, so she’s a little hard to take. She is silly, uninformed, gossipy, petty and usually just plain wrong. I picture her as the precursor to stage moms with the lipsticked and hairsprayed six year-olds in beauty pageants.

But you’ve got to give her a little credit– she got three of her daughters married, with little-to-no help from Mr. Bennet.

Mr. Bennet didn’t plan at all for the entail on his estate–despite the fact that his youngest daughter is sixteen. He had some time to figure out that a boy ain’t gonna be coming. But instead, he hides out in his library and hopes a solution for the well-being of his family will somehow appear.

But our Mrs. Bennet is a different story. She zeros in on Mr. Bingley like a heat-seeking missile. She parades the girls — all five of them — around the county looking for eligible men. And she talks about it. Constantly. Ad nauseam. She is a woman on a mission.

Lo and behold — she could be seen as a resounding success! Almost despite herself. Lizzy and Jane become very well situated, and Mrs. Bennet convinces herself that Lydia is well-situated too. She has fulfilled her sole mission in life, despite her poor nerves.

 

A good sense of humor

In today’s world of dating and romance, a good sense of humor is considered highly desirable. It wasn’t necessarily the same two hundred years ago. Manners, matrimony and class structure were all serious business.

Therefore, laughter was not held in very high regard. Wit and humor were seen as flights of folly. There are several very interesting scenes of laughter in Pride and Prejudice, and in most cases they point to a personality flaw. 

Lydia laughs at the surprise her family will feel when they hear of her running off with Wickham. When she thinks of signing her name as Lydia Wickham, she says, “What a good joke it will be! I can hardly write for laughing.” Mr. Bennet’s disdain comes to mind when he says, “For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbours, and laugh at them in our turn?” Caroline Bingley and Louisa Hurst laugh heartily at the society in Meryton and the Gardiners residing in Cheapside, but it is a laughter of condescension and spite.

But Lizzy’s love of a good laugh is depicted much differently. She is as quick to laugh at herself, and her good humor highlights the liveliness of her mind and the fineness of her eyes. Mr. Darcy in particular is drawn to her laughter, as it indicates an intimacy with her that he craves. “Her lively, sportive manner of talking” and “open pleasantry” demonstrates her deep affection.

 

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

Caroline Bingley reminds me of the saying, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come and sit next to me!” We all love some gossip, and fall prey to petty put-downs. But Miss Bingley is a master at the craft.

She is a wonderfully entertaining character, even if you wouldn’t want her as a friend or confidante. Kind of like the alpha-female Regina George in the movie Mean Girls.

I love the irony of Caroline Bingley the best. Consider her following comments and actions:

• She is the daughter of a nouveau riche man of trade, yet she acts as though she is a duchess moving in the first circles of society.
• Her remarks on Hertfordshire society, “The insipidity, and yet the noise — the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all these people!” actually speak more to her own personality.
• She calls Jane a dear friend, saying, “I have an excessive regard for Jane Bennet; she is really a very sweet girl,” but does everthing in her power to keep her at arms length.
• She accuses Elizabeth of being the kind of lady who recommends themselves “to the other sex by undervaluing their own,” when that is exactly what she does herself.

Mr. Darcy’s observation that Lizzy occassionally enjoys ”professing opinions which in fact are not your own” might be more aptly applied to Caroline Bingley.

 

What happens in Brighton…

I just saw an ad for the new Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz movie, called “What Happens in Vegas.” In the movie, their characters get hitched in Las Vegas after a night of drunken debauchery. One of them wins a $3 million jackpot using the other’s quarter, and hilarity ensues as the newlyweds try to undermine each other and get away with the cash.

Naturally, my mind wandered to Mr. Wickham and Lydia Bennet. Today, people who marry impulsively in Vegas can brush it under the carpet with an annulment and a shrug of the shoulders. In fact, the Las Vegas tourism industry has capitalized on this theme, with their popular “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas” ads. Unfortunately for the Bennet family, couples who eloped to Gretna Green weren’t able to keep things as hushed up.

The entire Bennet family would be ruined by Lydia’s impulsively living with Wickham in London. Lizzy recognized this reality immediately upon receiving Jane’s letter. She thought it ”improbable” that she and Mr. Darcy “should ever see each other again on such terms of cordiality,” due to the humiliation of Lydia’s affair. Jane and Elizabeth could be secure respectable husbands with such a sister. Indeed, Mr. Collins says it would be better if Lydia had died.

I guess what happens in Brighton doesn’t stay in Brighton.

 

These boots are made for walking

I posted that the “Pond Scene” wasn’t one of my favorite Mr. Darcy scenes from the 1995 BBC version of Pride and Prejudice. I actually a short snippet just after the “Pond Scene” much better.

In the “Pond Scene,” we have a dripping wet and underdressed Mr. Darcy, meeting Lizzy on the grounds of Pemberley. They exchange a few startled words, both of them suprised and uncormfortable at discovering the other. He excuses himself and returns to the house. Lizzy wants to leave immediately, perplexing the Gardiners.

I love the short scene that comes next. We see Mr. Darcy running down the steps of Pemberley, still buttoning his suit coat. He is so rushed that the servant scrambles to close the door behind him. He looks for the visitors, striding quickly toward their carriage.

This little scene tells so much about Mr. Darcy’s transformation. He is eager to show that he has changed, and has a very short time to show Lizzy how he has transformed. In most scenes, we see a reserved and inactive Darcy — sitting, strolling, standing, staring.

But here we see him full of movement and action– striding, striving, eagerly conversing. He knows that he has a short time and a few actions to covey to Lizzy that he has taken her reprimands to heart, he has changed, and he still loves her.

There is so much action and intention in this scene– so different that the Darcy we have come to know. Plus he is wearing breeches and boots!

 

Despise me if you dare

I am about to commit Pride and Prejudice heresy. You have been warned. I am going to question the infamous “pond scene.” Despise me if you dare.

 If you aren’t familiar with this scene (meaning you aren’t female), it’s from the 1995 BBC mini-series where a brokenhearted Mr. Darcy (Colin Firth) jumps into a pond to cool off after a long day of riding. He walks back to Pemberley in a soaking wet linen shirt (think Gentlemen Gone Wild, circa 1812) and runs into Lizzy and the Gardiners.

This scene catapulted Colin Firth into the stratospheres of hunkiness. I like the scene just fine, and have done my share of rewinding (like our gal Bridget Jones).

But let’s imagine the scene in real-life — with our sense of smell in tact.  Although it seems dreamy on camera, I don’t think we would be swooning if we were suddenly met a stinky, algae covered, seaweedy Mr. Darcy. The shades of Pemberley may not have been polluted, but the pond sure was a tad murky.