I’ve decided that Mr. Darcy was a very lonely fellow.
He was an only child for much of his childhood, and both his parents died early. According to the strict social structure of the time, most people he met were ‘beneath’ him in class.
Then add his proud personality; he was reserved, aloof, highly critical of others, and raised to feel naturally superior. He admitted that he had trouble connecting with strangers. He probably never even recognized how lonely he was. Until he met Lizzy.
He sought her out, almost unwillinginly. Certainly despite his own reasoning and logic. He wanted to ignore her, but instead watched her every move. He wanted to be critical of her, but instead was entranced by her fine eyes.
Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Darcy certainly was. (Remember when Bingley reproaches him with, “I would not be so fastidious as you are for a kingdom?”) Inwardly, we want to be close to people, but outwardly we push them away. Inwardly, we feel inferior, and outwardly we may seem superior.
Through his love for Lizzy, Darcy found fulfillment, completeness, wholeness. Perhaps for the first time in his life. And I think this made him a kinder person in the end.